The Waiting Area...!!!!

At Potentials, it is such a delight to witness the strangers form bonds that grow from  acquaintances to best of pals.  It can start with a formal greeting, or even the most basic “Hi”. Gradually, this simple ‘Hi’ evolves to a deep sharing. This parental sharing usually begins with brief exchanges about memories of beautiful experiences, or their wards’ skill development and the everyday challenges of raising their kids with special needs. These tentative ties of friendship expand slowly as tiffins are offered, contact numbers are shared, a lift is given one day, and so on.

Days and weeks pass by when one fine morning, our staff peeks out at the waiting area and we realize that therapists realize that the space holds so much more than just waiting parents. It is a space full of joy and anticipation. There is a spark when these parents meet each other.  They delight in the presence of one another.  When these parents laugh about small things, click pictures, munch snacks, and even describe worries, the strong bond that they share each day is beyond any perceptual description.

Observing this waiting area we note that all these mothers (and fathers too!) have created their own group- just like fresh teenagers where the friends are found hanging out on the weekends and setting their lives on ‘relax mode’.  Except this time, the relaxation and’ be-yourself-mode’  is happening in the waiting area during morning hours. The most wonderful part of this special bond is how these mothers encourage each other. Inspired by their own experiences, they keep their motivation to the brim, and most important, they try to mend the loops of their own vision, maintaining determination.

These parents demonstrate the lyrics “you can count on me like 1,2,3 and I will be there…” And it all starts with a simple “Hi”.

This post is a medium to thank them, because it is through their small gestures and positive vibe that each one of us is able to bring our best. You feed the fire in us to work our hardest, you light the fire in us to strive for excellence. 

We honor you.

Thank you!     

Emotional Expression

“Feelings are like waves. You cannot stop them from coming but you can decide which ones to surf?

Many children with special needs find it difficult to control an ongoing emotion. For example, a child may find it difficult to stop crying even when the upsetting situation is resolved. In another instance the child isn’t able to control the duration or intensity of his own laughter even though he is in the middle of a classroom.  Parents find these situations tough to handle.

We at Potentials Therapy Center present four initial steps that are part of a program to resolve such emotional outbursts. (Note: These steps are part of a process, and can aide parents and teachers at home, but are not a replacement for ongoing therapy.)

1.      Recognizing Emotions: The child could be verbal or non-verbal but the important aspect is for the parent to recognize his emotions. For example, “I know sweety you are really upset. I know that you are shouting loudly and your hands are in fists because you do not have your favorite toy but relax your hands to do your work, once you finish your work, you can then play with your favorite toy ”

2.      Explaining Child’s Emotions: It is important to hook your emotions with the child’s emotions. For example, you may not understand the reason behind your child’s unstoppable laughter so you can say “I know there is something very funny that has happened but I am unable to understand the reason behind your laughing”. Let’s assume another situation. For example, your child is really excited for something and he is laughing, shouting, or probably flapping hands. You can say “I know you really like this ____ and I can see that you very happy about it”. You could roll your hand over your child’s back if it calms him. “yuhoo… even I am also enjoying ____. Give me hi5 champ.” After this conversation re-direct the child to a different activity of his choice, such as drawing or colouring.

3.      Redirecting to Current Situation: Once a parent hooks his emotions with the child, it is important for the parent to redirect both the child and the parental reaction to the ongoing task. “Let’s see what are you doing. Oh wow! you are coloring blue and orange, you are doing such a nice work. I really like it!”

Note# If the child isn’t doing anything then you can engage the child with some task or activity that is of high interest to the child so that redirection becomes easier.

4.      Positive Reinforcement of replacement actions & activities

FInally, when the child is able to engage in an activity parents can encourage the child by patting him on his back or give him a little star. Parent can also give emotional reminders of their support, as well as confirmation of the child’s returned emotional state such as “it is nice to work calmly”, or “Even I feel good when I am working/playing with you next to me”.  This positive reinforcement can can help the child to get back to the work and also sustain the ongoing task.

P.S. The above mentioned formula is just a beginning there are a lot more things that we can do in order to regulate your child’s emotions. You can begin with this and feel free to write to us at contact@potentialsindia.com or call us at +919811798060. We are happy to support your child.

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"My First Day in New Academic Session"

April 4, 2016

Today, while going to school, my mom said that I have grown one class high, from nursery class to kindergarten class. She said I will have a new class, a new ma'am and lots of new friends. I looked at my mom carefully. Her smile was so big that even her pale teeth were visible. I started wondering what my new class would look like? How big it would be? What would be the colour of the walls? Mom mentioned about a new teacher and I wondered what went wrong with my old teacher? Did her tummy hurt so badly that she could no longer teach? Did I do something that upset her and she is no longer my teacher? My mom mentioned about new friends and I became confused.  I am still confused because how can I be friends with a bunch of people I don't know? Will they share their seat with me? Will they share lunch with me? Will they play with me? Will they laugh at me and make fun of me because I do not like to talk much?

All these thoughts added to my worry and made me cranky! When I reached school, I was still okay because my mom was with me. I held her hand tight and I did not want her to leave me in this new, strange yet familiar environment.  When I entered my new class, it was different than my old one and I was not comfortable. This made me really sad! When I met my new teacher, I recognized her. She is Ms. Avril. She helped me last year in annual day function. She talks very loud and loud noises hurt my ears. They make me more anxious. When my new teacher introduced me to the new people of my age, my mom let go of my hand and whispered “Hi” in my ears.. I remembered to say “Hi” aloud. A few of the other kids said “Hi” back, but they didn't smile. This made me more sad. I started to cry when my mom said that it was her time to leave, that it is my school time and she will pick me after the circle time. I started to cry harder. My mom said to Ms. Avril that I have ‘generalisation difficulty’ and I will take time to adjust in the new class. She gave me a flying kiss from the door and waved goodbye. I cried more. I cried and cried till the time my nosies were pouring out.

Ms. Avril gave me some toys to play with but I had no idea how to play with them so I did what I always do with stuff:  I just turned them over and over and watched the light bounce off the shiny surfaces. Then I got bored. And I remembered that I am now in a new class. This made me sad all over again because I was missing my friends, old classroom and old teacher. This time I cry louder, I howled and shouted. Ms. Avril thought that this was tantrum because I wanted a particular toy. She firmly said that she knew I was throwing a tantrum to get attention and get what I wanted and she wasn’t liking my behavior. I carefully looked at her and sobbed all the time because she just didn’t realize how badly I am missing the usual things that I used to do with my friends and old teacher. She couldn’t see my sadness. 

Emergency Social Stories

Life, as we all know it, is a huge roller coaster ride where situations are always unpredictable and unsustainable. There are days when all of us live in our routines but then there are days where there is a chaos in our lives. It could be due to a marriage, festival, earthquake, floods, fire, some urgent business trip, and any type of UNAVOIDABLE EMERGENCY.

A lot of us can easily accept the challenge, manage things and keep ourselves calm. But, for children with special needs, accepting, managing and keeping themselves calm at such times is a huge break point.

Thus, for such times we require Social Stories. And this time, Potential Therapy Centre talks about Physical Emergencies and how to prepare a child using Social Stories.

What are Social Stories?

Social Stories are visual aids that provide a sequence of instructions for the child where he is the main hero of the story and the entire storyline plot revolves around him so he understands what his own actions should be.

Social stories are situational based where the target is to cater to the difficulties of a child in various dimensions of the spectrum of life.

It helps the child in thinking skills and decisions making skills. It is a tool for anticipation and prediction of major events.

Why do we use Social Stories?

1.      Prediction/ Anticipation: What the situation might be, who all are going to be there, how might the place/ people look like, what they might be feeling about me/ thinking of me, what they may be expected of me.

2.      Skill building: what may be the way for me to respond, how can I talk, how I may really ask for help.

3.      Feel good factor: if I am able to do all of this I might just be able to be calm around these people and they may even comfort me back.

Recap of the Rules for writing the Social Story

1.      A story of your child: using words like I, Me, My, Mine, We and Name of your child. Don’t use name of another child, thinking your child will be able to relate himself/herself to the situation.

2.      Content: Narration (Refer to the post below for understanding the concept of narrations) involve what “you” are telling your child, when we are saying that social stories include the main character being your child then how may our sentences be framed?

E.g., the sentences could be framed as “When there is fire, Raghav shouts Mamma.”

3.      Language: the language that your child can use, is understood by him and repeats/ emphasizes on the key words e.g., fire, shouts, Raghav, Mamma.

Exemplary Sentence: “When there is fire, Mamma shouts Raghav”.

4.      Targeting behavior/ situation:

·        Targeting the behavior of utmost concern. E.g., we know that when Raghav is highly anxious, he jumps and flaps his hand so we can write “When Raghav sees fire he can shout for Mamma. Raghav can stand still or Raghav can walk to Mamma.”

Preparing Social Story:

A social story includes the following parts:

1.      Descriptive: This part includes the answers of all “wh” questions for your child for what he is likely to see, whom is he likely to meet, where is he going, what activities will he be doing and if others are performing, what is he expected to do.

Note: It is important to keep in mind sensory concerns for your child, narrations can be given like “there may be a lot of noise – some people may be screaming, shouting, this will be difficult for us but we can still control ourselves.”

2.      Perspective: describing what may be the feelings or thoughts of others in the given story. ‘others’ are the people who are defining the situation or the people who might be getting effected by any action of your child.

Here comes the important part of preparing the child about the EMERGENCY SITUATIONS. Potentials Therapy Centre intends to include Fire alerts, Water Flooding and Earthquake social stories. Emergencies can happen anytime and last minute experience of a situation can not only panic a child but can also leave impressions of trauma on a child’s psyche. Thus, it is important for parents to introduce such social stories anticipating the emergency and revise it in the middle of the week during free times so that god forbid, but if it happens, the child is mentally prepared about the situation.

While preparing the social story, it is important for the parent to point out the following things at the time of Emergencies:

1.      Event

2.      What is the situation like? E.g., Fire Alert

3.      How will the environment look like? E.g., fire at some place or there will be fire all around.

4.      How will the child feel? E.g., Panic, Anxiety, Fear, Afraid

5.       What will other people be doing? E.g., screaming, running, shouting

6.      How are other people feeling?

7.      Whom can the child approach for help?

8.      What should child do at this particular moment?

EXAMPLE SOCIAL STORY:

1.      When Raghav gets anxious he jumps & flaps hands.

2.      If there is emergency like fire Raghav Jumps & Flaps hands.

3.      When Raghav Jumps & Flaps hands he is more anxious.

4.      When there is emergency/Fire, Raghav can shout for mamma.

5.      When there is emergency/ Fire, Mamma also shouts for Raghav.

6.      When Raghav shouts for Mamma, Raghav can hold Mamma’s hand.

7.      Then Raghav is safe with Mamma.

This is just one of the exemplary emergency preparations to children with special needs but there are many more existing situations for which we have to prepare our kids to face them so that they do not get hampered with fears. 

For more queries or assistance/ guidance feel free to contact us at www.potentialsindia.com. You can call us at +919811798060 or +919811798930. You can even write us at contact@potentialsindia.com. 

Holi Celebrations at Potentials

March 19’ 2016, Potentials celebrated Holi.  We had three groups throughout the day enjoying the fun.  The entire Team Potentials volunteered to sensitize children to variant aspects of the festival. Children were not only exposed to the dry colour, water balloons, and water guns but also guided by team members to experience how to put colour and to whom. As always, children were encouraged to understand, learn and try at their own pace. Rules were established for playing Holi and once again an opportunity was provided to try them with support initially and then they were given freedom to play under supervision. Children played with colours amongst their own peer group and therapists. The amazing part was joining in of the parents. The celebration was followed by lunch and dancing on the festive songs. Following areas were focused under the umbrella of therapeutic festive: Sensory Needs (hypersensitivity and hypo-sensitivity), Language to be used while playing (how can the child greet to friends & family? what can child say when he is not liking something during the play? and so on) and Social - Cognitive Stages of Play. All in all, it was a fun experience where children had a gala time with a lot of learning disguised within the celebration. 

Preparing your child for New Year

Preparing your child for NEW YEAR

“Dashing through the snow

In a one-horse open sleigh

O'er the fields we go

Laughing all the way...!!!!”

And here comes the end of the year where schools are filled with celebrations, Christmas carols, winter – carnival, excursion trips to church or winter vacations; Central Delhi is decorated with bright lights and colors; and churches are decorated with lights, “n” number of candles, Christmas carols etc. Everyone greets their family and friends as “Merry Christmas and wish you a happy new year”.

All this indicates “change”, “a big change for children with Autism” as 2015 is waving good bye and it’s time to welcome the year 2016. Children are accustomed to seeing 2015 all the year on their colanders and notebooks so this transition from ‘2015’ to ‘2016’ could be difficult for children with Autism to take in.    

What to do?

1.     Narrative Talk/ Narrations: “Narrations” are verbal preparations of the possible changes in the routine and corresponding changes in expected behavior.

Situation: Before Christmas arrives parents should have such narrative conversation with their kids when they are at the most relaxed state and parents can know that the child is listening to them.

Preparatory Stage:

·         Who is expected to come?

·         How can you Greet?

There could be guests at home some might greet with a hug or some may greet with a handshake. It is important to tell children of the way parents expect them to respond to the greeting (rather than telling only what they shouldn’t do). Note if a child is not hug friendly or if he/she initially shows anxiety when meeting friends or relative after a long time,  then, it is always better to tell the child a way in which he can greet appropriately - such as a handshake or a verbal greeting with an eye contact. If the child is too anxious, give him/her some kind of self – engagement and allow the greeting to happen later after the child has become more accustomed to the presence of the visitor. 

·         What will happen when they come? (activities involved)

·         When is this likely to happen? (it is advised that the parent mark the date of guests arrival in calendar, that will help child to remember and refer with the event at home).

·         People will greet Merry Christmas from 25^th and next they will wish Happy New Year. The greeting may continue till 4^th or 5^th of January. Also prepare kids of how can they greet back.

o   For verbal children, they can respond by saying “Thank you, same to you” or “Happy New Year to you too”.

o   For Non – Verbal Kids, they can respond to a greeting by a hand shake, smile or eye gaze  ( or any combination).

**Narrative talks should always be rehearsed first and then start normal conversations with the child about this preparation with fillers in it. Encourage child to fill in the sentences that will help the parents know how much child is prepared with the upcoming change. Include in your talk about what will parents do differently and how will child behave when he/she meets them.  

2.    Visual Aids: Children with Autism are high Visual Learners, so, pictures help them register information faster and longer. Mental Preparation using pictorial representations is the key for helping children to accept the coming change in their lives.

·         Personal Notebooks: Parents can prepare a personal journal/file/Notebook for a child.

o   First page says “My Personal Calendar” (With Child’s happy/smiling picture and name written on it)

o   Second page says “Bye – Bye 2015” (a bye – bye picture [available at google])

o   Third page would say “Hello 2016” (hand shake picture and 2016 mentioned in bolds on it) Note: It is important to use a different color sheet for this particular information as this is the major information we want to highlight.

Then introduce the A4 calendar printouts of each month (in separate sheet) with “post it” of the occasions or some personal celebrations where the child can see and remember the important dates. When the December Calendar goes off the journal, give the closure by using a “Bye – Bye 2016” sheet (Bold 2016).

·    

        Social Story: A social story is a visual guide describing various social situations, behaviors, skills, or concepts that help the child to better cope with social situations. Parents can also prepare a small social story using pictures of a child’s familiar things/people/places, possibly describing that everything will remain same, its just the year number is changing. Parent should include the preparatory stage sequence in the story so that child can refer to it when it happens live.       

Preparing your child for Changes in Schedule

During the festive season, wedding season and even throughout the year there can be unexpected visitors coming home, evening parties or other frequent changes to a family’s routine schedule. For many children with Autism and social communication difficulties these changes can produce great anxiety and changes in behaviour. For these children a change in routine can result in fear, disruptive behaviours, tantrums and great parental stress as well. What to do?

The Problem: Unexpected Changes in Routine

An example situation: It is time for the father to come home but instead there is a surprise visit of close family friends. It could be because of the festive season or a guest to deliver wedding card... 

1.   Those children who face great difficulty in accepting the change might land up on the floor banging his head or crying breathlessly, shouting, throwing things or hitting people around.

2.   Or even the opposite could occur: The child might even jump and run to the guest just like to his father, not realizing the social and physical boundaries with the guests.

The Solution: Narrations & Rehearsal

One of the best ways to help young children is to tell them about what can happen and most importantly, what the child can do in that situation.  We often do this through ‘narrations’, a verbal preparation of the possible changes in routine and corresponding changes in expected behaviour. For example, when there is festive season, one can provide specification of the festival and usually how things happen at the house. Such as:  

1. Who is likely to come by (friends, family members, neighbours)

2. How to greet them (folded hands, handshake, hug, touch feet)

3. What activities would occur: they come for dinners, exchange gifts and have conversation.

4. When will this happen: come in the evening, spend time till late at night and then leave. 

Note: The idea here is that the child should be well aware of what are the different actions that will happen in the house in near future. For the parents it is important to prepare the notes of what might trigger child's anxiety leading to undesired behaviour, what they want the child should know about the events and then have talk to the child in order to bring him in the comfort zone. homework for the parents is to make sure that this talking happens before the changes in routine schedule occur, on a regular basis so that the child is well prepared. You can even practice scenarios & role play so that the child has an active understanding.

The important thing to highlight in your description is that "what can the child do?", "what are mummy and papa going to do differently?", and "what to do or say in the moment?".

In our everyday, practical life it is not possible for a parent to always prepare their lad for the things coming up next in every minute of their day. But general practice and discussion about changes in routine gradually brings heightened awareness to both the child and parent about expectations on both sides and how to react as each change comes along. I am sure this will do a great deal to help parents survive the tough side of change and also to help your child not to struggle in accepting the change.

Therefore, Potentials Therapy Centre takes an initiative to cater to the parents and guide them towards adjusting to last minute changes in their wards’ daily routine. We address the ‘how to’ of narrations in our parent training sessions available to all of our Potentials community.  Please watch this space for the dates for our next session!

For inquiry or more assistance the team is always available at contact@potentialsindia.com