Preparing your child for New Year

Preparing your child for NEW YEAR

“Dashing through the snow

In a one-horse open sleigh

O'er the fields we go

Laughing all the way...!!!!”

And here comes the end of the year where schools are filled with celebrations, Christmas carols, winter – carnival, excursion trips to church or winter vacations; Central Delhi is decorated with bright lights and colors; and churches are decorated with lights, “n” number of candles, Christmas carols etc. Everyone greets their family and friends as “Merry Christmas and wish you a happy new year”.

All this indicates “change”, “a big change for children with Autism” as 2015 is waving good bye and it’s time to welcome the year 2016. Children are accustomed to seeing 2015 all the year on their colanders and notebooks so this transition from ‘2015’ to ‘2016’ could be difficult for children with Autism to take in.    

What to do?

1.     Narrative Talk/ Narrations: “Narrations” are verbal preparations of the possible changes in the routine and corresponding changes in expected behavior.

Situation: Before Christmas arrives parents should have such narrative conversation with their kids when they are at the most relaxed state and parents can know that the child is listening to them.

Preparatory Stage:

·         Who is expected to come?

·         How can you Greet?

There could be guests at home some might greet with a hug or some may greet with a handshake. It is important to tell children of the way parents expect them to respond to the greeting (rather than telling only what they shouldn’t do). Note if a child is not hug friendly or if he/she initially shows anxiety when meeting friends or relative after a long time,  then, it is always better to tell the child a way in which he can greet appropriately - such as a handshake or a verbal greeting with an eye contact. If the child is too anxious, give him/her some kind of self – engagement and allow the greeting to happen later after the child has become more accustomed to the presence of the visitor. 

·         What will happen when they come? (activities involved)

·         When is this likely to happen? (it is advised that the parent mark the date of guests arrival in calendar, that will help child to remember and refer with the event at home).

·         People will greet Merry Christmas from 25^th and next they will wish Happy New Year. The greeting may continue till 4^th or 5^th of January. Also prepare kids of how can they greet back.

o   For verbal children, they can respond by saying “Thank you, same to you” or “Happy New Year to you too”.

o   For Non – Verbal Kids, they can respond to a greeting by a hand shake, smile or eye gaze  ( or any combination).

**Narrative talks should always be rehearsed first and then start normal conversations with the child about this preparation with fillers in it. Encourage child to fill in the sentences that will help the parents know how much child is prepared with the upcoming change. Include in your talk about what will parents do differently and how will child behave when he/she meets them.  

2.    Visual Aids: Children with Autism are high Visual Learners, so, pictures help them register information faster and longer. Mental Preparation using pictorial representations is the key for helping children to accept the coming change in their lives.

·         Personal Notebooks: Parents can prepare a personal journal/file/Notebook for a child.

o   First page says “My Personal Calendar” (With Child’s happy/smiling picture and name written on it)

o   Second page says “Bye – Bye 2015” (a bye – bye picture [available at google])

o   Third page would say “Hello 2016” (hand shake picture and 2016 mentioned in bolds on it) Note: It is important to use a different color sheet for this particular information as this is the major information we want to highlight.

Then introduce the A4 calendar printouts of each month (in separate sheet) with “post it” of the occasions or some personal celebrations where the child can see and remember the important dates. When the December Calendar goes off the journal, give the closure by using a “Bye – Bye 2016” sheet (Bold 2016).

·    

        Social Story: A social story is a visual guide describing various social situations, behaviors, skills, or concepts that help the child to better cope with social situations. Parents can also prepare a small social story using pictures of a child’s familiar things/people/places, possibly describing that everything will remain same, its just the year number is changing. Parent should include the preparatory stage sequence in the story so that child can refer to it when it happens live.       

Preparing your child for Changes in Schedule

During the festive season, wedding season and even throughout the year there can be unexpected visitors coming home, evening parties or other frequent changes to a family’s routine schedule. For many children with Autism and social communication difficulties these changes can produce great anxiety and changes in behaviour. For these children a change in routine can result in fear, disruptive behaviours, tantrums and great parental stress as well. What to do?

The Problem: Unexpected Changes in Routine

An example situation: It is time for the father to come home but instead there is a surprise visit of close family friends. It could be because of the festive season or a guest to deliver wedding card... 

1.   Those children who face great difficulty in accepting the change might land up on the floor banging his head or crying breathlessly, shouting, throwing things or hitting people around.

2.   Or even the opposite could occur: The child might even jump and run to the guest just like to his father, not realizing the social and physical boundaries with the guests.

The Solution: Narrations & Rehearsal

One of the best ways to help young children is to tell them about what can happen and most importantly, what the child can do in that situation.  We often do this through ‘narrations’, a verbal preparation of the possible changes in routine and corresponding changes in expected behaviour. For example, when there is festive season, one can provide specification of the festival and usually how things happen at the house. Such as:  

1. Who is likely to come by (friends, family members, neighbours)

2. How to greet them (folded hands, handshake, hug, touch feet)

3. What activities would occur: they come for dinners, exchange gifts and have conversation.

4. When will this happen: come in the evening, spend time till late at night and then leave. 

Note: The idea here is that the child should be well aware of what are the different actions that will happen in the house in near future. For the parents it is important to prepare the notes of what might trigger child's anxiety leading to undesired behaviour, what they want the child should know about the events and then have talk to the child in order to bring him in the comfort zone. homework for the parents is to make sure that this talking happens before the changes in routine schedule occur, on a regular basis so that the child is well prepared. You can even practice scenarios & role play so that the child has an active understanding.

The important thing to highlight in your description is that "what can the child do?", "what are mummy and papa going to do differently?", and "what to do or say in the moment?".

In our everyday, practical life it is not possible for a parent to always prepare their lad for the things coming up next in every minute of their day. But general practice and discussion about changes in routine gradually brings heightened awareness to both the child and parent about expectations on both sides and how to react as each change comes along. I am sure this will do a great deal to help parents survive the tough side of change and also to help your child not to struggle in accepting the change.

Therefore, Potentials Therapy Centre takes an initiative to cater to the parents and guide them towards adjusting to last minute changes in their wards’ daily routine. We address the ‘how to’ of narrations in our parent training sessions available to all of our Potentials community.  Please watch this space for the dates for our next session!

For inquiry or more assistance the team is always available at contact@potentialsindia.com  

Special Needs and Vacations...!!!

For most of us, vacation is the means of relaxing and taking a break from regular routine. Many of us even want to spend time with our near and dear ones or explore this beautiful world or build more memories to our spectacular lives. But, vacationing with children with special needs might be a difficult task. It could be due to myriad of reasons from disruption (change) of their routine, shift of culture, language or food, no mental preparation of where the child is going or why is he going somewhere to being a sensory overload for the kid. Just like every adult, all children with same difficulty have varied skill set and deficits. Depending on the difficulties of the child, there could be several other reasons that can trouble or bother the family while they are vacationing.

Following are the tips that might help you in doing more things that can provide great comfort to you, the family and most importantly to your child with special needs:

1.      Pre – Preparation

“What if, you are at home getting the white wash done from the labour, some of your freshly washed clothes are still in the bucket and rest are hanging at the veranda wall, all the material of your house is lying out in the room that is freshly completed, you are in the most shabby look and immediately there are some high profile guests at home. Imagine what will be your condition and how panicked you would be because organizing things at home could be so difficult within that particular moment, without prior information and hence preparation.”

Do you realise that this is the same difficulty our children with special needs face when they are unprepared about what is going to happen. Providing structured information to your child will definitely help in anticipation and planing in a concrete form. Using “Wh” questions help constructing the thoughts and information e.g., “Where are we going?; Who are we going with? ; When are we going? When will we be back?; “How are we going? What can I do there?; If I get stuck, who can help me?” Similar areas can be highlighted through a social story using visuals for enhances memory.

2.      Pictorial Description

Whenever possible, include pictures of things that are of importance to the child. E.g., How are they going to travel (bus, car, plane, train etc)?, picture of the place of stay (e.g., hotel, cottage, friend’s house etc), kind of food that he gets there, some places that you will visit (include some pictures that your child may be excited about).

3.      Packing

Let your child pack his bag by himself, or assist you in doing it; his involvement in the packing process would be helpful – choosing the clothes he would like to take with him, his favourite book, toy etc. Let him choose gifts that he would wish to give it to a close family member or friend outstation. Comfort is important - Help your child pack the things of his comfort e.g., personal blanket, pillow, or anything (make sure you take it – that will help your child during his tough time outdoors).

4.      Sensory Comfort

Your child could be tuned to sensory defensive mode or he could be seeking sensory stimulation, and journey in car or bus or train could be a sensory overload for your child. Help your child packing his belongings during his travel that can ease him.

·         It gets difficult for child who is Sensory Defensive to manage during loud noises while taking off or landing of the plane or the noises of the train or the loud honking of the bus or car. You can use headphones for blocking sound, hear favourite music through earplugs etc. If your child is defensive towards visual clutter or light, please use visual blockers like eye masks or sunglasses.

·         For children who are seeking sensory stiumulation, favourite music or favourite books or tactile fiddlies like string of beads etc., can help during the discomfort.

·         When children are sensorily overstimulated, it is always better to make your child sit in your lap, giving tight hugs or gently squeezing him with a cushion at the thigh area is calming. Keeping something heavy in laps like a heavy bag or purse or 2 liters water bottle can help as well.

NOTE: Marking the day on calendar on the date of vacationing and the day of return helps building the event in memory in a structured form.