“Feelings
are like waves. You cannot stop them from coming but you can decide which ones
to surf?
Many children with special needs find
it difficult to control an ongoing emotion. For example, a child may find it
difficult to stop crying even when the upsetting situation is resolved. In
another instance the child isn’t able to control the duration or intensity of
his own laughter even though he is in the middle of a classroom. Parents find these situations tough to
handle.
We at Potentials Therapy Center present four initial steps that are part of a program to resolve such emotional
outbursts. (Note: These steps are part of a process, and can aide parents and
teachers at home, but are not a replacement for ongoing therapy.)
1.
Recognizing
Emotions: The child could be verbal or non-verbal but the
important aspect is for the parent to recognize his emotions. For example, “I
know sweety you are really upset. I know that you are shouting
loudly and your hands are in fists because you do not have your favorite toy but relax
your hands to do your work, once you finish your work, you can then
play with your favorite toy ”
2.
Explaining
Child’s Emotions: It is important to hook your
emotions with the child’s emotions. For example, you may not understand the
reason behind your child’s unstoppable laughter so you can say “I know there is something very funny that has
happened but I am unable to understand the reason behind your laughing”. Let’s
assume another situation. For example, your child is really excited for something
and he is laughing, shouting, or probably flapping hands. You can say “I know
you really like this ____ and I can see that you very happy about it”. You
could roll your hand over your child’s back if it calms him. “yuhoo… even I am
also enjoying ____. Give me hi5 champ.” After this conversation re-direct the
child to a different activity of his choice, such as drawing or colouring.
3.
Redirecting
to Current Situation: Once a parent hooks his emotions
with the child, it is important for the parent to redirect both the child and
the parental reaction to the ongoing task. “Let’s see what are you doing. Oh
wow! you are coloring
blue and orange,
you are doing such a nice work. I really like it!”
Note# If the child isn’t doing anything then you can engage
the child with some task or activity that is of high interest to the child so
that redirection becomes easier.
4.
Positive
Reinforcement of replacement actions & activities
FInally,
when the child is able to engage in an activity parents can encourage the child
by patting him on his back or give him a little star. Parent can also give
emotional reminders of their support, as well as confirmation of the child’s
returned emotional state such as “it is nice to work calmly”, or “Even I feel
good when I am working/playing with you next to me”. This positive reinforcement can can help the
child to get back to the work and also sustain the ongoing task.
P.S. The above mentioned formula is
just a beginning there are a lot more things that we can do in order to regulate
your child’s emotions. You can begin with this and feel free to write to us at contact@potentialsindia.com or call us at
+919811798060. We are happy to support your child.
